Salut les innombrables!
The other day i bought a crab at the market. i LOVE crabs. i felt adventurous and i thought i deserved it. I’d eat my whole crab all to myself in my sunny garden. Yay.
So i made myself a nice little plate filled with raw favorites -fenel, carrots, and.. nothing else. I beat the egg yolk + mustard + lemon + olive oil to make my own delicious mayonnaise. I put the big fat crab on a nice little plate. Pat myself on the back for owning a crab-legs-cracker. Red. Nice! I put on my green fluorescent radio with some brilliant thing to hear on, sat down, took a deep perfumed breath, smiled…. and CRACKed! The crab open. Well not the whole of it, just one leg.
-here, vegan friends, i know you hate me as much as i do love crab meat. Sorry. Please consider myself as a lost person but you know in real life i’m kind and fun to be around. And please stop reading. Please. Do. For real. Now.
…aaannnnd….
The crab was not cooked.
It was R.A.W!
Having spent time on the seashore, i assumed any non-moving crab on a market stall was, obviously, dead. Therefore it was, obviously, cooked. Am i stupid or what? Who would have known? You don’t buy dead raw crabs! You don’t! This just doesn’t exist!
But you can buy sleeping crabs. Maybe.
Oh well, let’s say mine was bored to death on a parisian market stall, and that is why i fooled myself. Let’s say that.
What did i do? Run to my computer of course: Asked the Almighty Interweb: Do you die once you’ve eaten a mouthful of raw crab meat? Out of a bored to death crab in Paris?
Guess what? The Almighty Interweb answered: Some would pay billions to eat why you’re still hesitating to swallow, girl. So i did. Swallow the said mouthfull. And it tasted better than….. Most of the best things you’ve eaten so far. Like better than caviar. See?
Well, i wasn’t feeling so sure about the Almighty Interweb’s answer, still, and i still remembered my past life as a seashore girl, when my dad (or some other know-all-giant) told me you never ever ever buy a dead uncooked crab, let alone eat it. You never buy dead crabs at all. It’s so freaking easy, girl, to cook that one. Buy it raw and moving, and cook it yourself. A.L.W.A.Y.S
So i learned right away how to cook a crab. It IS freaking easy. It was delicious after all. But i swear had i known, that crab would have gone asleep or dead in someone else’s basket. You never ever buy an un-moving crab, end of the story!
20 juillet 2011 à 6 h 45 min
Pourtant sur la première photo, il a l’air rouge, mais peut-être pas assez cuit. Parce que s’il est mort et pas rouge, c’est toi qui risques de devenir verte. Va raconter ça à ton poissonnier, il sera tellement désolé qu’il t’en offrira un autre pour se faire pardonner. Mais la prochaine fois, tu lui demandes si le crabe est cuit, et tu n’achètes le tourteau que s’il a de gros élastiques sur les pinces. Il vaut mieux avoir l’air con vivant qu’intelligent et mort.
20 juillet 2011 à 13 h 55 min
ayayay c’est un peu un cauchemar cette histoire… j’ai eu peur, peur, P E U R pour toi…
hihihihihihihihi
va au resto…
22 juillet 2011 à 10 h 07 min
Not stupid, but a careless/carefree chick for sure. You have « balls » to buy a whole crab, I’ll give you that, because I couldn’t do it!
Love it.
So, what are those peanut-shaped white things on your plate?
22 juillet 2011 à 11 h 35 min
@Ai > That is true, i’m quite carefree i must say… Which leeds me into buying weird things like the peanut shaped things! They’re made of rice flour, and i bought them at the K-Mart where i love to stop on my way from work. I asked the corean boy at the cashier desk what it was (once i had paid for it… carefree you say?), so he gave me his mother’s recipe to cook them. Basically, you’re supposed to make a sort of « ragout » with them. Cook them with vegetables and then add some meat and sauce. I thought they were like pastas, except perfect for a rice addicted chick like me. So i didn’t listen to the corean boy’s mother and tasted them just like that, cooked in some water, sparkled with fresh coriander. Loved it! I’m definitely buying another pack and trying the corean mum’s recipe!
24 septembre 2011 à 23 h 00 min
Haha… I love your food adventures and how your mind travels faster than the speed of light. I grow up eating crabs and come think of it, I’ve never had raw ones either but I can’t see what’s wrong with dead raw crabs if we can eat dead raw seafood ala sashimi? My favourite crab recipe is crab meat + egg whites baked souffle! Or, crab meat in sweet corn chowder for winter.
Bon appetite!